I don't know why I ever thought anybody cared about my life on this site. It's really just self indulgent. Might as well go with it.
I just read The Perks of Being a Wallflower for the first time and it was amazing. Truly amazing. It's scary how much I saw myself in Charlie. I think we shared the same detrimental flaw: we think too much. I over-analyze everything, and it kind of always ends up driving me crazy. I get paranoid and I have panic attacks because I think about things too much and then get nervous and yeah it's a dreadful cycle. But anyway, great book. I hope that if I ever do end up writing a novel, that it will be as beautiful as Perks.
In other news, I might be about to fuck up the only adult relationship I've ever had. I've been seeing this guy since July and things were going pretty well until recently. I kind of find myself with a fucking huge crush on his older brother. I mean mine is a sweet kid. He's a super hipster, wears cardigans and loafers, has a glorious beard, and likes intellectual music. However, he is a tool. He makes fun of the music I listen to because it's "too poppy and has no meaning," he has fucked, oh, probably around fifty percent of the girls I know, is extremely pushy about sex, is kind of scrawny and has dumb hair, and is needy and obnoxious as all hell. Conversely, the brother is freaking huge. Not fat huge, just huge. (I have a thing for men of the gigantic persuasion.) He has really cute long hair, is super friendly and socially functional which I admire, plays on an ADULT INDOOR SOCCER TEAM ^_^ (I also have a thing for men in soccer uniforms,) has the most beautiful singing voice I have ever heard come out of a guy, and is just a humble scene kid. NOT a hipster. He likes the same music as I do and doesn't give a shit if people say it's dumb, and he's just a really nice, genuinely good guy. Whoooo happens to be INSANELY hot, and has to flaunt it by walking around in freaking sweat pants with his hair up and his adorable glasses on when I go over to hang out with his brother. Gah! And he's a virgin, which is totally the other end of the spectrum from his brother, (the sex-crazed one I'm dating.) I imagine that the older brother, even though he is a virgin and this is all mere speculation, would be really gentle and cuddly in the sack. Like a giant, sexy teddy bear. With a huge cock. (This is confirmed to be true as it turns out.) Yo quiero. I want him so much. Gah this is pathetic. At this point I don't know if I should dump the brother because well, I don't like him a whole hell of a lot, or just keep seeing him because we always hang out with his brother so I'd get to see the attractive cuddly one more. (The one I'm dating doesn't drive because he's a pussy so he makes the other one drive us everywhere. Go figure.)
Anyway, that's my life, internet. As always, I'm pretty glad no one reads this because I'm sure I sound like a fucking idiot. Adios.
Current Music: A Brief Tutorial on VIP Production- Dubba Jonny